the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
