I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
