I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
