oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
