You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
