Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
