but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
