and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
