how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
