During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have post one night stand depression
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
