So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
