Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
