kristin has been a bad kristin
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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