is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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