Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
