at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
