Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she looked like the before picture.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
