Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
