My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
