it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
