his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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