His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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