So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
