Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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