I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
