I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
