My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
