I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
