lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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