You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
