Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
