That's intense
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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