its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
