I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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