all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we made out on top of his cat.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
