Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
