woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
