I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
