He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
