Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
