Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
