As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
