He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
