I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
