these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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