I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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