The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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