something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
