I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
