On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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