just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No subtext here. People are naked.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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